I didn’t mean to backslide. I had a plan. I had focus. I had ideas and thoughts that needed to be said.
I also had anxiety. I had worry and panic.
I feel awkward writing in front of my husband. I feel like any moment, regardless of how supportive he has been of me that something will change and he will start laughing. I will be a joke, and my hobby will be stupid. I will have written badly and he will think that I am foolish for doing more than just my ‘real’ job.
I think that’s just my brain talking, thinking, whatever.
Continue reading “Backslide”
I feel completely wiped out, even three days later, and a part of me wonders if that’s less to do with all the walking and more to do with the fact that there were so many people.
Way more people than I anticipated. What ever happened to people going away for the holiday? They should go off to the beach, or go to barbecues, not hang out in a museum.
I’m sorry, that’s selfish of me.
I used to have dreams that I would be able to walk through places that were completely empty and just enjoy myself. Read all the books I wanted, see all the sights.
My favorite episode of the Twilight Zone is “Time Enough at Last”. My husband never believed that I usually cried at the end, until the first year that we watched it together.
I think I over relate to a man breaking his glasses and not being able to enjoy what freedoms he has when there’s no one else around. Then again, no one around forever would probably make me super bored. I mean there’s only so much you can do by yourself.
Plus, I own a bunch of board games, to have no one to play them with? Totally crazy.